The beloved character of Dr. Frasier Crane has made his return to the tv-screens. You can watch the new 12th season on Paramount+. The orginal show was as a spin-off of Cheers, continuing the story of psychiatrist Frasier Crane as he returns to Seattle and starts building his new life. Here we follow him while reconnecting with the father Martin—a down to earth retired police officer—and his hilariously snobby brother; Niles. To celebrate the return of Frasier, I compiled my personal list of:
The 12 greatest Frasier Crane quotes.
1. Well, there it is,
"Frasier Cranium"!
Frasier is dissatisfied with a caricature of him, placed on the wall of a famous Italian restaurant. His portrait has a huge forehead and he is obsessed with replacing it. The problem is the fiery owner Stefano, who has a real temper.
2. Dear God, it looks like someone melted down a highway cone.
The second to last episode in the entire show - a flashback episode! An old earthenware crock pot triggers off some memories of the past 11 years in Seattle. Martin bought this cheese filled crock pot to replace Frasier's gourmet cheese he inadvertently threw away.
3. I don't have time to stand here and listen to your insanity, I have to go and steal a get-well card from a kidney patient!
Frasier wrote an inappropriate comment on a get well card, which he in fact thought was a birthday card. In the meantime, Niles is roleplaying how to be a father—using a bag of flour.
4. Time is irrelevant here in the Seventh Circle of Hell — a place where even despair dies.
Fraiser returns from his tropical vacation with his new girlfriend Claire. Unfortunately, the airline lost his luggage, and he is developing feelings for Lana; his highschool dream girl—and best friends with Claire.
5. I am sorry, young man. If we wanted to hear your music, we would attend one of your concerts...
—in the bus station.
To the dismay of Frasier and Niles, Café Nervosa has hired a new noisy guitarist named Ben. The brothers are now forced to find another regular haunt—a surprisingly difficult challenge—even in a city full of coffee houses. Hilarious display of snobbery in this episode.
6. I can almost hear my left ventricle slamming shut as I speak.
The morning routines at Frasier’s are quite hilarious. Martin has been so kind to fix breakfast this morning—the Crane family specialty: Fried eggs swimming in fat, served in a delightfully hollowed-out piece of white bread.
7.I might as well just lop off my ear and mail it to her.
Frasier is trying to figure out how to pursue an enchanting woman he saw on the bus (his first time riding a bus). But how do you approach the woman and what to say? "I spied on you on the bus, and I've managed to hunt you down here where you work, would you care to have dinner sometime?"
8. If this is a pep talk, would you kindly segue way to the peppy part?
Frasier is convinced he’s cursed. An important job interview—and a high-school reunion is coming up, but he believes the Fates are conspiring to humiliate him. Niles thinks it’s all folderol, but does what he can to cheer up Frasier.
9.I would rather have a tarantula lay eggs in my ear than listen to any more of this puppet show!
Frasier's got himself a new chess set. There is just one problem; he's father—a complete novice in chess—keeps beating him. Daphne tries cheering up Fraiser, so she preforms an impromptu “sock puppet show”.
10. If less is more, just think of how much more "more" will be.
Dr. Crane promises his listeners a new theme song. Kenny wants a simple song, but Frasier goes overboard and hires an entire choir and ensemble to record the song. Niles gets involved also, but poses the question: Whatever happened to the concept of "less is more"?
11. Answering phones and pushing buttons! My God, a cockatoo with a strong beak could do what you do!
Bulldog is trying to convince Roz to leave Frasier in favor of his sports show. Frasier is convinced its all just Bulldog’s ploy to trick Roz into bed. Roz and Frasier ends up in a big fight. As it turns out however, Frasier was right all along.
12. Well, her lips said "no" but her eyes said
"read my lips."
Well, this last one is actually a Niles Crane quote—and such archetypical for his character. While Fraiser manages to score not one; but three dates during the party, his brother, who recently seperated with Maris, keeps striking out.
